Monday, January 26, 2009

Constant Nightmare

The Stanford Prison Experiment


The Black Rolling Tunnel

DOA: September 30, 1958

At the age of 10, my Parents had no option to keep me home with them. Continuing my education was their goal for me. The politicians only knew "whare housing" in a "state institution".    was surgical experimentation in a state institution The "Rich" were able to keep their children home.

When I was about fifteen, I discovered that there forms at admittance my Parents signed.  Unaware at the time, it meant that they would be giving their rights away to the "state".

We, who were placed in a "State Institution", were Stripped of Our Identity, became objectified, did not have an Existence... The "Authorities" such as: the Doctors, Nurses, Attendants... became our Abusers!

Hence, they had the "Power" over us to do anything
that they wanted to do to us.

Power is a tool to: "Intimidate", "Launch Fear" put the "Fear of God" in you so that you will Submit to Them at all Times!
Did you ever feel these emotions? Each Minute, Each Second is "Terrorizing"... Isn't It?

When you start crawling threw the Black Tunnel, you gradually Hallucinate: Rats, Snakes, Persons with no Faces... As you crawl threw the Black Tunnel,
your screams are never heard as if you were in a nightmare. When you wake, is everything real, or are you hallucinating?

The Rats, Snakes, and Persons with No Faces...-are Chasing You. Each Minute, Each Second is "Terrorizing"...
You Think That the "Black Tunnel" Will Never End,

The emotional pain is numbing and all-consuming. You are incarcerated, barricaded by a wall of fear.

Then, you see a dim light growing more bright.
This bright light tells that the rats, snakes, people with no faces are:

"Extremely Cruel" or "Insecure"

Our fears were barriers and our thoughts came to a roadblock.

You can never completely turn your face on the Black Tunnel. It is forever ingrained in your memory.

I have not yet seen the end of the Tunnel, and I don't think I ever will.

Emotions are like muscles -- when you do not exercise your emotions, your emotions will atrophy.

When you experience such an intimate event, there is never closure!

Carolyn V. Wojcik

Under Construction

Comments (2) - Jan 8, 2009 12:37 PM - Remove

Carolyn, I like this one, too. It is very dark, but I bet it was therapeutic to write it. And there is an important realization in it. When you see the monsters (rats, snakes, etc.) for what they really are, they lose their power to terrorize you. I'm sorry you've been haunted by these experiences, and I'm glad you can write about them.

Eleonor Baldo - Jan 19, 2009 9:22 AM - Remove

Hi Carolyn,
Your will to live and make meaning out of the "black tunnels" of life is inspirational. I hope you continue to teach and encourage people. Keep on writing!

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  1. Carolyn,
    This is sad, but it shows how strong you are and I'm glad you can write about it. Sometimes, our worst feelings become the best writing.

  2. Yes Kirsten, our worst fears enhances our characteristics in our personality.

    Love, Carolyn